And just like that, Christmas 2024 has come and gone, and we’re on the brink of welcoming 2025.
How was your Christmas? Mine was more “’Tis the season to be poorly” than jolly! It began on December 21st when I woke up with a sore throat, which soon spiralled into an asthma flare up and a chest infection. My youngest daughter then came down with a raging temperature on the 22nd and wasn’t herself again until the 28th. Even my husband, who’s usually as resilient as they come, found himself reaching for the Lemsip.
This Christmas was always going to be different. For various reasons, we weren’t spending it with extended family. I’ll admit, in the lead up, I felt a little unsettled by the change. But then I reminded myself that large family gatherings often come with their own challenges, and perhaps this quieter Christmas was exactly what we needed.
Leaving expectations at the door
I decided to approach this Christmas with minimal expectations, and honestly, that mindset made all the difference.
With everyone feeling under the weather, we stayed home, binge-watched movies under the warm glow of fairy lights, and embraced doing as little as possible. It wasn’t the Christmas I had envisioned, but it was… okay. In fact, it was a relief not to host or leave the comfort of our own home.
Managing expectations truly is a life skill. It’s natural to hope for the best, but it’s just as important to remain flexible and recognize that life often throws us curveballs. None of us can predict the future, and holding onto rigid expectations can set us up for disappointment.
Looking Ahead to 2025
As we step into a new year, conversations will inevitably turn to resolutions, intentions, or goals. You might even find yourself quietly hoping that 2025 will finally be the year you get pregnant. (For what it’s worth, I’m quietly hoping that for you too.)
But I want to share a word of caution. While hope is a beautiful thing, putting all your emotional weight on 2025 as a year of transformation can be risky.
During my fertility journey, one of the most frustrating things people would say to me was, “It will happen for you, I just know it will.” While those words were meant kindly, they often felt hollow because no one could truly know what the future held. That uncertainty was my reality, and it may be yours too.
Focusing on what you can control
Rather than pinning all your hopes on a singular outcome, what if you turned your attention to the aspects of 2025 that are within your control? Here are some ideas to guide you:
- Nurture supportive relationships: Identify the people who have been there for you during your fertility journey, and keep them close. These relationships can be a lifeline as you navigate the emotional ups and downs of IVF.
- Adopt habits that nourish you: Simple rituals like deep breathing, journaling, or practicing mindfulness can provide moments of calm amidst the chaos. Taking care of your mental health is just as crucial as focusing on the physical aspects of your journey.
- Set boundaries: You don’t have to share every detail of your journey with others, nor do you need to attend every event that feels emotionally draining. Protecting your emotional wellbeing is a valid and essential part of self-care.
- Practice gratitude: Infertility has a way of narrowing your focus, making it easy to fixate on what’s missing. A gratitude journal can help you notice the good things already present in your life. This simple practice can bring balance and perspective to an otherwise difficult experience. (If you’d like, I have a free journal template I’d be happy to share—just let me know!)
- Invest in Your Relationship with Your Partner: Infertility can take a toll on relationships, leaving couples feeling disconnected or overly focused on “the goal.” Prioritise your connection with your partner through date nights, weekends away, or even scheduled time where infertility isn’t a topic of discussion.
Stepping into 2025
As we enter 2025, my wish for you is to approach the year with kindness toward yourself, focussing on what’s within your control and maintain hope which is flexible.
May this be a year of empowerment, self-compassion, and moments of peace as you continue your fertility journey.
Get in contact
If you would like support on your fertility journey, there are a number of ways I can help:
- One to one fertility counselling
- CONFIDENCE counselling and mentoring,
- “Confidence to feel” series of free workshops.
- Also sign up to my weekly newsletter where I share my thoughts, tips and advice for anyone navigating infertility.