As a counsellor, I’ve dedicated my career to help people overcome life’s challenges, find balance, and build meaningful lives. However, my personal experience of In-vitro Fertilisation (IVF) has given me a deep understanding of the emotional toll that fertility struggles place upon a woman, and the lack of support out there.
It’s from this personal journey that I’ve chosen to focus on providing IVF support to women, offering them a unique blend of professional expertise and lived experience.
The search for IVF support
Where or who do you turn to?
One of the hardest parts about going through IVF is the feeling of isolation. Women often don’t know where to turn for help, and the resources available can feel limited or inaccessible. While many women are aware of IVF support groups, these spaces often come with their own challenges. For someone struggling to conceive, hearing pregnancy announcements in these groups can feel like a fresh wound being reopened each time. Knowing they “should” feel happy for the other person yet feeling jealousy which inevitably leads to feelings go guilt and shame. Another reminder of what they don’t have yet.
The barriers to getting support
Traditional one to one counselling can be a valuable option, but it’s not always a realistic solution for everyone. Time and money often become significant barriers. Many counselling sessions offered by IVF clinics are held during working hours, which puts an additional pressure of professional women who are already taking time out of work to attend medical appointments at the clinic.
And with the financial strain that IVF treatment costs bring, finding room in the budget for therapy can feel overwhelming. The irony is that during one of the most emotionally taxing times in their lives, many women don’t have the time, energy, or resources to seek out the support they truly need.
The Language of IVF
For those going through IVF, the experience is far from what they imagined when they first thought about starting a family. It’s clinical, often impersonal, and full of acronyms and medical jargon that can make the process even more alienating. Terms like;
- “BFT” (Big Fat Positive) denoting a positive pregnancy test
- “AF” (Aunt Flo) describing getting your period
These can feel disconnected from the emotional gravity of the situation. Many women undergoing IVF don’t even want to be there. They didn’t choose this path, and hearing these acronyms thrown around casually can feel frustrating and invalidating. On a personal note, they gave me the ‘ick’.
It was my own frustration with the language and the lack of accessible emotional support that led me to create something different. A service that recognises the complexity of IVF and provides space for women to process their emotions and re-gain some control within a process which is unpredictable and carries no assurances.
My journey to this work
My own experience with IVF was filled with challenges. After enduring multiple miscarriages, I knew something was wrong but found myself feeling lost, helpless, and ignored by the medical system. That was until I took matters in my own hands, found a private gynaecologist who offered the support I so desperately needed, and became a guiding figure through the uncertainty.
I liken my experience to Dorothy’s journey in “The Wizard of Oz”. I was lost in a world that felt foreign and frightening, but once I found the right support, I started to see the way forward.
Now, I want to be that guiding figure for other women. I know how isolating the process can be, and I want to make sure that no one has to navigate it alone.
Why I’m different
I’m offering a service that’s rooted in empathy, expertise, and accessibility. I’ve been through IVF myself, so I understand first hand the emotional and physical strain it places on women. As a counsellor, I’ve also worked with many people to help them find peace, even in the face of the most challenging circumstances. Combining these two perspectives allows me to offer support that’s not only professional but deeply personal.
Importantly, my service is designed to be accessible. I offer flexible hours and online sessions so women can seek support on their own time, no matter their schedule. They don’t have to choose between their career and their emotional wellbeing.
I will provide the support I wished I had when I was going through IVF; someone who can offer guidance, compassion, and a safe space to process the complex emotions that come with fertility treatment. I want to empower women to take control of their emotional wellbeing, providing the kind of understanding that only someone who has walked this path can offer.